With so many interesting partner suggestions, online dating often means there’s more than just one person you’d like to get to know better—this is where parallel dating comes in. Some people want to take advantage of all the opportunities, while others prefer to focus entirely on one contact. This raises the question: Is it okay to date multiple people at the same time? What is allowed, and what do I do if my potential partner is also dating other people at the same time?
Parallel dating: These 6 things you should keep in mind
Parallel dating is a topic on which many disagree. For some people, it’s normal to focus on just one person at a time. Others, on the other hand, want to take advantage of every opportunity and have multiple contacts and dates at the same time. 36% of men and 39% of women say they have tried multiple dating options.
1. Play with open cards
Dating habits shouldn’t be a taboo topic of conversation either. It’s actually better to be upfront and honest about parallel dating from the start. However, it’s rather inappropriate to bring up other dates on your current date.
2. Honesty lasts the longest
Especially after several dates, honesty is key. If you’re genuinely interested, it’s time to consider making the dates exclusive. If things haven’t clicked after several meetings, it’s time to be honest about it – keeping someone “warm” and giving them false hope is unfair.
Especially in the age of online dating, parallel dating is quite normal. So it’s perfectly legitimate to first find out if the chemistry is right before limiting the getting-to-know-you process to just one person.
3. Fair rules in the getting-to-know-you phase
Dating freedom applies to everyone up to a certain point. This point is reached when you and your partner reach a different agreement. This agreement is the clearly communicated beginning of a relationship or the initiation of one. Open communication is crucial for respectful interaction. Clear words are the best way to prevent emotionally stressful misunderstandings.
4. Sense and Sensibility: Don’t confuse the two!
You can indulge a superficial interest in someone if it’s mutually beneficial. Before you indulge your selfish interests in others, make it clear to your partner what kind of contact you want. Accept if your partner has different ideas and desires. There are surely other interesting contacts out there who would be happy to meet up with you.
5. Give yourself time
Remember: Euphoria isn’t as contagious as the flu. Sometimes, euphoria only affects one in two people. It happens. Feelings develop individually and very differently. Before you talk about feelings or promises, give your potential partners and yourself the opportunity to clarify your own impressions and emotions.
6. Seize your opportunities
Understandable: You’re looking for a long-term, successful relationship. For this, it can be beneficial to meet different people and consider who is a good fit for you. Online dating is the ideal platform for this.
The advantages and disadvantages of parallel dating
Depending on your dating style, parallel dating can have many advantages, but also some disadvantages.
The advantages of parallel dating
Especially through pure online contact you meet many interesting characters who are worth getting to know.
Especially in the initial phase, it can be worthwhile to put out feelers and not focus on just one person. This might even help you figure out who’s really right, since you have a direct comparison. However, the following still applies: Be honest and be open about your parallel dating!
3 Disadvantages of Parallel Dating
If you’re a more emotional type and fall in love quickly, parallel dating might be disappointing for you. If you have multiple contacts yourself, you should be careful not to end up falling in love with more than one person.
Furthermore, dating at the same time can also leave a bad impression on your dates. Not everyone likes the feeling of being one of many. Ultimately, quality over quantity always applies to dates. If you jump from date to date trying to meet as many potential partners as possible , you’ll quickly find yourself unable to fully commit to one person.
He’s dating someone else? How to deal with it
1. Free yourself from excessive demands
You shouldn’t have any expectations of your partner one way or the other, especially when you’re just starting out. Assuming that your partner will meet other potential partners before and after your first date will prevent you from developing unrealistic expectations.
2. Let the introduction happen casually
Don’t limit your options when looking for a partner without good reason: As long as you haven’t yet agreed on a commitment to developing shared goals, keep your personal expectations in check. Remember: A relaxed approach reveals more potential than demands for validation when getting to know each other.
3. Signal interest – in moderation
Protect yourself and your partner from disappointment by expressing your emotions and desires in moderation. Until your partner also signals a willingness to intensify contact, you should avoid demanding language or sending countless unsolicited photos or tons of messages. A very controlling manner also tends to put most people off.
4. Pressure is not a means to get to know each other
Give your potential partners and yourself time to reflect on your meetings and decide if there’s a next step. Before you bombard potential partners online with requests or suggestions for further meetings and joint activities, give them a chance to respond and make suggestions of their own.
5. Retreat permitted
Everyone should be allowed to withdraw from the process of getting to know each other. Try not to take the behavior of those around you too personally during the initial phase. Withdrawal can have very different reasons. Perhaps it’s simply not a good fit between you. Don’t let yourself get discouraged: Remind yourself of your positive qualities and look forward to meeting someone who is worthy of experiencing you at your best.
Conclusion: Honesty is the key to parallel dating
Parallel dating is completely acceptable in the modern dating process. Just be fair and honest to save yourself and others from wasting time. If one of you is more emotionally involved than the other, discuss it before unnecessary hurt feelings arise. Always be fair to your contacts when parallel dating. Then nothing will stand in the way of an exciting dating phase.
