You’ve probably experienced this before: sweaty hands, racing heart, trouble sleeping, and sweating before an upcoming exam, presentation, or date. Our brain is the most complex organ in the world, and it’s a true master at presenting us with horror scenarios of how things could go wrong in the future.
From a purely rational perspective, we somehow know that it’s all nonsense or total exaggeration. After all, how often has such a worst-case scenario actually occurred? Probably never!
But even though we’re somehow aware of this, we often become more tense and nervous when we try to calm ourselves down. The harder and more desperately we try to stay calm, the worse it usually gets. A true vicious circle from which, at first glance, there seems to be no escape.
But it doesn’t have to be! That’s why, in this article, I’m introducing you to the topic of nervousness and excitement. I’ll explain to you how anxiety and nervousness arise from a psychological perspective, and why and how you should proactively combat them. Finally, I’ll present four immediate measures so that you know what to do in every everyday situation to quickly overcome your nervousness.
How nervousness and excitement arise
Why do we humans feel excitement and nervousness at all? These two things are ultimately just two variations of one and the same thing. Namely: fear! And fear is, first and foremost, just an indicator. Nothing more! Fear is an evolutionary mechanism of our brain and subconscious, designed to warn us of danger.
The reactions described at the beginning (rapid heartbeat, tension, etc.) were intended to prepare our ancestors thousands of years ago for flight or, in the worst case, a fight for survival. Back then, it was simple! The wild predator or a warrior from another tribe: those were our enemies. Fear and nervousness were therefore evolutionarily advantageous, allowing us to escape danger faster or earlier, or to be more efficient in case of doubt.
Nowadays, it’s not so simple. Many dangers cannot simply be run away from. And yet, this primal fear, and with it, nervousness, remains deeply rooted in us. I already mentioned an even bigger problem above. We see dangers where there are none. We feel excitement only because of our own imagination.
While symptoms like rapid heartbeat or sweaty palms are physical, anxiety itself always originates in your head. An event is neutral for a fraction of a second until we evaluate it. This happens so quickly that we aren’t even consciously aware of the process. Negative memories and reference experiences then cause our brain to assess the situation so negatively that our body prepares for flight or fight. Today, we call this state “nervousness,” “excitement,” or “stage fright.”
Try watching a horror film without the sound. Suddenly, it’s not so scary anymore. The lack of music makes it easier for you to see the situations in the film in a different light. You decouple them from the negative, fear-laden framing and are more likely to take the whole thing with humor and composure.
Limiting beliefs serve to protect the ego. The ego is terribly afraid. Fear of failure, of embarrassment, of being inadequate, of being left behind, etc. Many people have therefore “trained” themselves to approach things in life with absolute pessimism. They always assume the worst-case scenario and, as a result, no longer have any self-confidence.
Unfortunately, limiting beliefs are a very poor method for overcoming nervousness or fighting excitement. At first, it might seem perfectly logical: If I assume that things will go terribly badly in the interview, then I’m either right or I’ll be pleasantly surprised if things happen to go well.
How limiting beliefs create and increase nervousness
By assessing the situation negatively, the mind unconsciously attempts to take the pressure off itself in advance, thus mitigating the consequences of future failure.
Once you’ve started with such a negative outlook, however, you’ll inevitably become increasingly preoccupied with this worst-case scenario, and with it, your nervousness will automatically increase. The brain increasingly creates new possibilities for how badly things could turn out and what could go wrong. Pure fear begins to build up inside us!
The catastrophic consequence of this is low self-esteem and confidence, which will only make you feel even more nervous and anxious the next time!
How nervousness and excitement sabotage you
Nervousness or excitement are not a bad thing to begin with! It is very important to understand this in order to be able to overcome them in the next step. Everyone feels a tingling sensation, stage fright, or nervousness in new, unfamiliar situations from time to time.
Even professionals who have successfully mastered something hundreds or thousands of times feel a slight tension each time. It only becomes a problem when you start to subconsciously internalize this nervousness, which then sabotages your performance instead of motivating you to achieve your best.
Our subconscious forms an image from our behavior. This self-assessment is used as a reference for future behavior. It is a template, so to speak, that provides these people with a heightened level of self-confidence. Highly successful people have an extremely positive self-image. In every decision and every performance, they draw strength from this strong self-image. This automatically makes them appear more relaxed and calm on stage, for example.
And because they enter the exciting situation with a high level of self-confidence, the likelihood of them successfully mastering it automatically increases. The consequence of this is that they feel even more self-confident afterwards and can bring this newly gained self-confidence into the situation the next time.
Once you have established this upward spiral of self-confidence, it will become easier and easier for you and the nervousness will automatically disappear or become so minimal that you hardly notice it. It’s like rolling a heavy stone down a hill. At first it is incredibly difficult; it hardly moves. But once you get it rolling, it picks up speed over time.
In human behavior or behavioral psychology, this is referred to as positive feedback. But now comes the bad news. The whole thing works and occurs much more frequently in reverse. Many people have not developed a positive and empowering self-image, but rather a debilitating and weak one.
It probably started out quite harmlessly.Once they have had a bad experience here, once they feel excitement and nervousness there. But instead of interpreting the whole thing positively or simply forgetting it, most people get incredibly caught up in this negative experience and in doing so automatically create more space and control in their (self)consciousness. This leads to self-doubt suddenly appearing in similar situations where there should actually be self-confidence.
The more they try to calm down, the more nervous and agitated they become. Every new failure feeds the negative self-image. It is a negative spiral that feeds our inner critic instead of our inner strength. If you fight your excitement and overcome your nervousness, you will break out of this cycle. You will be one of those who are not ruled and sabotaged by fear and nervousness for the rest of their life.
Why nervousness and excitement are actually a very good thing
Nervousness, stage fright, and excitement can enhance performance and are actually a great thing once you understand it. This might sound a bit crazy at first, because we humans tend to think in extremes.
Either someone has absolutely no stage fright and was lucky enough to have been born with pure self-confidence, or someone is so nervous at even the smallest challenge that they just stutter and can’t even utter a complete sentence. Not having stage fright usually means that the person has done the thing a hundred times before. This routine gives them security, but often takes away all the excitement and enthusiasm.
Insider tip: Transform nervousness and excitement into self-confidence and anticipation through positive framing
A second absolute insider tip from me is positive framing . This simply changes your mental interpretation of the current situation and eliminates self-doubt, which instantly reduces nervousness and anxiety. This is incredibly effective because, as already mentioned, fear always begins and ends in the mind.
So, in the future, work on changing your perspective on a situation that scares you. Try to put the whole thing into a new context/framework, so to speak (in NLP, this is called framing).
Tell yourself:Â “Nervousness and excitement are positive things. I can only be nervous if there is a very desirable outcome to the situation (great presentation, being hired after the interview, an enthusiastic audience after the speech, etc.).”
If there were no scenario in which the situation resulted in a positive/successful outcome, you would experience entirely different emotions, such as guilt, depression, or sadness. In a sense, nervousness and excitement are just anticipation of my possible success!
Again, because this was super important to understand:Â Nervousness and excitement are, in a sense, just anticipation of my potential success! If you truly understand and internalize the wisdom and power contained in this one small, inconspicuous sentence, you won’t let your excitement and nervousness paralyze you in the future.
On the contrary, it will even help you deliver a top performance. This kind of positive framing allows you (like watching a horror movie without sound) to see your current situation in a different, ” confidence-boosting ” light.
4 immediate measures to overcome nervousness and excitement
Immediate measure no. 1: Controlled and conscious breathing
Back in the Stone Age, when you were hunting or running away from something or someone, your breathing would have been extremely fast and shallow. On a physical level, panic and fear cause faster breathing to increase the oxygen supply to the muscles, making them more efficient for a short time.
But if you were safe in a cave with your tribe, your breathing would have been deeper and more relaxed. This had the effect of reducing the release of stress hormones like adrenaline in the body, thereby increasing your lifespan.
We can use this ancient and evolutionary programming to our advantage. Calm breathing into the stomach still signals to the primitive parts of our brain ( the so-called reptilian or brain stem ) that you are safe and everything is fine. That there is absolutely no reason to panic, be nervous or excited.
When breathing from the belly, keep the following in mind:
- Breathe slowly and as deeply as possible into your belly.
- As with meditation , concentrate completely on the flow of your breath.
- Visualize the oxygen flowing through your lungs and providing your body with optimal oxygenation.
- Exhale slightly longer than you inhaled. Tip: It helps to mentally count. Count to 5 as you inhale and to 6 as you exhale. Counting will also help you relax and overcome your nervousness because you’re focusing on something that won’t further fuel your anxiety.
The best thing about this immediate measure is that it’s incredibly effective and you practically don’t need anything for it. The key is a certain amount of self-confidence. Abdominal breathing can work wonders IF you use it in time. It’s not much use trying to do it quickly in two minutes when you’re already totally nervous.
That’s why it’s important to keep some of your attention on your body: Excitement and nervousness usually manifest themselves in faster, shallow breathing and a rapid heartbeat. If you recognize these signs early enough, you can start using abdominal breathing for two or three minutes straight away.
Immediate measure no. 2: Physical exercise / sport
Sometimes you just have this urge to escape. You’re totally jittery and just want to run away. If your situation allows it at that moment, I recommend exercise to help you overcome this nervousness.
Anything that allows you to really exert yourself physically reduces stress. And on a biological level, stress reduction means that the hormonal cocktail in our brain changes, which automatically affects the way we think, which in turn (as you’ve hopefully already learned in this article) influences our level of excitement and nervousness.
Weight training, jogging, swimming, and cycling can work wonders when it comes to overcoming nervousness and excitement. They quickly put you into a completely different “state of mind.” A state of mind that frees you from your nervousness and excitement. Physical exercise is one of the simplest, yet most effective and fastest methods to achieve such an improved state of mind and thus overcome nervousness.
Immediate measure no. 3: Power moves / power poses
You may have heard that almost 60% of human communication takes place non-verbally. Through gestures, posture, and facial expressions alone, we communicate an incredible amount and can convey certain feelings to the person we are talking to. But did you also know that you yourself and your state of mind are also influenced by your own posture and gestures?
Imagine a cycle: Our posture influences our thoughts, our thoughts in turn influence our posture, and so on. To gain more self-confidence and thus overcome self-doubt and nervousness, you should urgently pay attention to an upright, strong, and confident posture .
But that’s not all. When it comes down to it and you want to quickly combat excitement and nervousness, you should assume a so-called power pose for about 1-2 minutes. There are various options here. Of course, it’s best to choose a variation that you feel most comfortable with.
A classic example is the Superman pose. To do this, arch your back, look forward, and raise your chin a few centimeters. Stand with your legs about shoulder-width apart, stretched out and firmly planted on the floor. Both legs point forward. You can either stretch your arms out to either side at an angle towards the sky, or you can bend them at a 90-degree angle and press them against your hips (like a Superman).
Even if you might feel a bit silly at first, trust me when I tell you: It really works wonders! Power poses like these ensure that, just like abdominal breathing, your body automatically starts sending signals to your brain that cause stress-reducing hormones and neurotransmitters to be released. This has been clinically tested and proven! And it also helps you to smile at yourself a little, which also helps to reduce nervousness and tension.
Immediate action no. 4: Affirmations & power sayings
Affirmations influence your thoughts, your thoughts influence your body language, and this influences your overall demeanor, ultimately also your level of excitement and nervousness.
Before a presentation, for example, you can repeat the following example sentences to yourself like a mantra. This simultaneously eliminates the space in which negative thoughts and self-doubt can arise.
- I can do it!
- I am well prepared!
- I’ll have fun doing this!
- I am completely relaxed!
- I feel calm and well prepared!
- I believe in myself!
- I am confident!
- I am confident!
- I give myself the freedom to make it happen!
- I accept my excitement and use it!
- I accept my nervousness and use it!
These phrases don’t have to be incredibly complicated. They just need to feel empowering and positive. That’s the key. They need to activate you on an emotional level. If you recite them internally at your own pace, you’ll notice how they have a calming effect, boost your self-confidence, and reduce nervousness and anxiety.
Final word on: Overcoming nervousness and excitement
Let us now briefly summarize the best measures to overcome excitement, stage fright and nervousness quickly and effectively:
- Realize that nervousness begins and ends in the head!
- Use the tool of framing: consciously change how you interpret/frame the situation
- Use deep abdominal breathing to signal calm and strength to your body and thus your mind
- Use physical exercise or sport to put yourself in a different state of mind where you no longer feel fear, tension, and nervousness
- Use power poses & power moves
- Affirmations and power phrases to guide your thoughts in the right direction
So, in the future, use these valuable ideas ( preferably in combination! ) to not only overcome feelings of tension and nervousness, but also to automatically train and strengthen your self-confidence.
I wish you lots of fun, and the next time you face a challenge that you notice is making you nervous and excited, try to remember this article and the tips it contains.
You’ll see that nervousness and excitement aren’t as bad as you might think at the moment. And you might even realize that nervousness and tension aren’t your enemies, but are actually great tools for your personal development !
“Anyone who doesn’t feel fear isn’t active enough! Fear is more than just a sign that you’re on the right path—acute fear is also a sign that now is the right time to act.”
The insider tip to overcome nervousness
Another extremely effective tip, or rather, a whole skill, that can help you enormously in managing feelings of nervousness and insecurity is mindfulness .
