Ever heard of love bombing? It’s definitely a term you should know when dating. It describes a behavior from a potential partner that should set off alarm bells.
This article explains what love bombing is, how to recognize it, and how to protect yourself from it.
What is love bombing? Definition
Love bombing describes a behavior, usually at the beginning of a relationship or when you are just getting to know someone , in which the person you are dating showers you with excessive affection, attention and gifts.
Victims of love bombing are literally bombarded with love, regardless of how long the relationship has existed.
Why is love bombing dangerous?
Usually floating on cloud nine, those affected find it difficult to see through love bombing. They feel special and valued because they receive so much attention.
However, the goal of this strategy is to influence the other person and make them dependent on you.
This form of manipulation is particularly used by narcissistic men or is commonplace in female narcissism to gain power and control over a person.
This happens in three steps:
1. You become emotionally dependent
The initial flood of love and affection creates a strong emotional dependency . You feel especially valued and loved and develop a deep connection with the other person.
2. You are manipulated and controlled
Through emotional dependence, the love bomber can now show his true face.
Behavior becomes more controlling and suddenly only the other person’s wishes and needs are in the foreground.
3. She/he puts you down
In many cases, the love bombing phase is followed by a phase of devaluation.
The initial affection is withdrawn and replaced by criticism, devaluation and emotional abuse.
The dangerous thing is that since the transition between the phase in which you are shown a lot of love and the phase in which the manipulation takes place is fluid, you don’t even notice what is happening to you and how your relationship suddenly changes so drastically.
This results in a kind of powerlessness that victims of love bombing feel.
5 Signs of Love Bombing
It’s important to know the signs of love bombing so you can protect yourself. Here are the characteristics:
1. She/he makes exaggerated declarations of love
You’re regularly showered with compliments and declarations of love . For example, after just a few weeks, they tell you that you’re the love of their life.
2. You will be showered with gifts
Again and again you receive gifts from your beloved that you consider excessive.
It’s not just that you keep getting gifts that irritates you, but also how elaborate or expensive they are.
3. You are constantly in contact
You can’t find a moment’s peace anymore? Love bombing is when the other person bombards you with texts or calls you repeatedly to make sure you’re constantly thinking about them.
4. He/she drives you away from family and friends
He/she tries to convince you that you are a perfect couple and that no one else can understand how you feel about each other.
Doubts from your friends or family are therefore just an attempt to bring you closer together. This will drive you further and further away from your loved ones.
5. Everything is happening too fast
Just together yesterday, moving in together tomorrow, and getting married the day after? If he/she is pushing you to take big steps in your relationship quickly, it could also be love bombing.
How to protect yourself from love bombing
Now that you know the different signs of love bombing, I’d like to explain how you can protect yourself from it:
1. Take it slow
Let relationships develop slowly. If someone wants too much too quickly, be cautious and question their intentions.
2. Set boundaries
Set clear boundaries and stick to them. Don’t let yourself be pressured into doing anything that’s uncomfortable or too fast.
3. Trust your gut feeling
Sometimes our gut feeling already suspects something we haven’t fully realized yet. If your intuition tells you that something smells like rotten eggs, pay extra attention.
4. Stay in touch with friends & family
Friends and family can often spot warning signs you might miss, so stay in touch and listen to what they have to say.
5. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings
Ask yourself how you feel in the relationship. Do you feel pressured or overwhelmed? Determine how comfortable you are with your situation.
