TDo you sometimes dream of being more charismatic? When you speak, everyone listens. Your colleagues appreciate you and enjoy working with you. You have no problem asking for dates. And on your dates, the person you’re with hangs on your every word!
So you want to become more charismatic? No problem! However, you should already know that charisma is much more about listening than talking. And it’s not about being everyone’s darling. But more on that later!
The four main characteristics of charisma
What exactly is charisma? Originally, charisma meant being blessed by the grace of God. Today, it is more commonly associated with a winning grin. And the men in razor blade advertisements are brimming with charisma.
However, this is a very one-sided form of charisma that can quickly slip into narcissism and arrogance. And your charisma is not dependent on an attractive appearance. What’s more, we also find people charismatic who would not really fit into a razor blade advertisement, such as Bill Gates or Michelle Obama . To better understand charisma, let’s first look at four signs of charisma.
Feature 1: Authenticity
Charismatic people are completely themselves, with all their quirks and strange habits. They don’t need to adorn themselves with designer clothes or expensive accessories. Michelle Obama’s best accessory is her radiant smile.
Furthermore, these people know exactly what their values are. They distinguish between right and wrong and stand up for their opinions. They represent a certain worldview that they share with conviction.
Feature 2: Strong self-confidence and self-esteem
Charismatic people also know that everything is fine with them. They accept themselves as they are. Therefore, they can share their opinions calmly and with a clear conscience, without trying to force them on anyone.
They have nothing to lose. Because even if someone disagrees or even insults them, their self-confidence is so strong that they never feel personally attacked by destructive criticism.
Feature 3: They are “ contagious ”
Charismatic people have a certain set of values that they confidently present to the world. This honest attitude is contagious. They manage to convince others of their values.
They also manage to convey their feelings in conversation . When they talk about something with enthusiasm, they practically sparkle with enthusiasm . Their good mood and motivation will also captivate you!
Feature 4: You make other people feel good
Charismatic people are good listeners . While we often have images in our heads of impressive speakers or cool visionaries, charisma is also about presence and respect.
Charismatic people listen carefully. This enables them to have conversations that truly connect with their counterparts. Respect and being on equal footing are key. Even people like Michelle Obama and Bill Gates know they can learn a lot from everyone. This gives others the feeling of being seen and valued.
Charisma is a state, not a quality
Luckily, you can emulate Bill Gates and Michelle Obama! Because these two heroes weren’t born with charisma either. A positive charisma isn’t a personality trait, but a state. Or rather, a byproduct of your communication behavior.
The even better news: You already are charismatic! At least in some situations. Think back to a situation in which you felt really good. Perhaps you were able to convince someone of an idea? Or you received very positive feedback on a presentation or a job interview? Maybe you flirted with real confidence and turned someone’s head?
You probably don’t remember exactly what you said or did that time. Or you think it was just a lucky day. But with the following eight tips, you’ll be increasingly successful in conveying a positive charisma in the future.
8 tips for instantly more charisma
Tip 1: Confident & upright posture
In her world-famous TedTalk, Amy Cuddy reveals the secret to charisma: It’s all a matter of confident posture. The big trick: You don’t need self-confidence to have confident posture. On the contrary: You can fake your self-confidence – and in doing so, you will actually gain self-confidence.
This trick sounds complicated, but it’s incredibly simple. Stand up straight, stretch your head towards the sky, tuck your chin towards your chest, chest out, and shoulders back. If you really want to push yourself, you can also assume the superhero pose: Stand with your legs wide apart and your hands on your hips. This simple trick will give you instant charisma.
Tip 2: Dress well
Even if it seems superficial: clothes make the man . And it’s not about wearing designer clothes or being particularly stylish. After all, Bill Gates’ impressive wardrobe isn’t exactly what makes him so admirable.
There’s a simple saying: Dress well and you’ll feel good . What items of clothing make you feel truly confident? It could be a perfectly normal pair of jeans that fit really well and are a calming shade of blue. Or it could be blush that highlights your cheekbones and makes you look more awake.
Tip 3: Listen and support
Do you perhaps dream of telling a charismatic anecdote with everyone hanging on your every word? In fact, charisma is just as much about listening as it is about talking yourself. Perhaps listening is even more important! Because when you listen to other people, you make them feel important and, in the truest sense of the word, heard.
You can even go a step further and actively support those around you in their wishes and dreams. Listen carefully, ask interested questions, and encourage your counterpart in their endeavors. Perhaps you can even actively support those around you in their plans by offering them your help.
If you really want to become more charismatic, then don’t just focus on yourself. True greatness also means putting yourself last and letting others go first.
Tip 4: Leave your phone in your pocket
A simple trick to listen better: Leave your phone in your pocket. Charisma also has a lot to do with presence. This means you need to be fully focused on the moment. Those who are talking to you or in the same room will notice you much more if you are present.
So leave your phone in your pocket and set it to silent to give those around you your full presence and attention. This gift also demonstrates your appreciation for others.
Tip 5: Be authentic and inspire authentically
You’re probably familiar with that look on other people’s faces when they’re talking about something they’re really passionate about. In that moment, you’re swept away by their enthusiasm and you let it contagious. Maybe their energy even rubs off on you and you feel more motivated and fulfilled after the conversation. You can pass this feeling on to other people too.
Ask yourself: What’s important to you? What could you talk about for hours with complete enthusiasm? What topics make your eyes light up?
It’s important that you don’t fake enthusiasm for any topic just to please the other person. Others will see through your feigned enthusiasm. So be authentic. Talk about things that are really important to you. It doesn’t matter whether these topics are “cool” or not. If railways are important to you, then talk about railways!
Tip 6: Share your visions and goals
In the next step, you can reveal even more about yourself than just your hobbies. Talk about the really big things, your visions and goals! Opening up like this takes a lot of courage . This vulnerability, in turn, makes you charismatic.
Do you perhaps secretly dream of ridding the oceans of plastic waste? Or does the unfair distribution of wealth sometimes cause you physical pain? Or do you simply want to live a quiet life as a square in a small village?
Tip 7: Work on your self-esteem
When you feel charismatic, you are at peace with yourself. You know: I am a good, interesting, caring, attractive… person. Unfortunately, you probably don’t always feel this good and charismatic. The
best way to feel charismatic more often is to work on your self-esteem. Because if you sometimes find it difficult to behave charismatically, then perhaps you don’t really believe that you are charismatic.
Deep down, you may be suffering from low self-esteem . You don’t really believe that you are interesting or attractive. But only when you can convince yourself of your good qualities will you be able to convince others of you .
Tip 8: Positive Affirmations
Affirmations are an effective strategy for boosting your low self-esteem and becoming more charismatic. Affirmations work like the genie in the bottle: You just have to wish for something often enough, and eventually it will come true. Here are a few examples of affirmations to help you become more charismatic. With these affirmations, you’ll get rid of the negative beliefs in your subconscious:
- “I am an interesting person.
- “I’m really good at listening.”
- “My posture is upright and confident.”
- “My eyes light up when I speak.”
Conclusion: Becoming charismatic takes time and practice
Charisma is based on healthy self-confidence. And it takes time and practice to build strong self-confidence. So don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t immediately feel a great charisma in every conversation.
Charisma also depends on the situation. You might feel intimidated in a conversation with your supervisor. But then you’ll tell a hilarious anecdote in the cafeteria! Some days you’ll feel great and others not. That’s perfectly fine.
But the more you implement the 8 tips for more charisma, the more often you’ll be able to project charisma. So, as is so often the case in life, it’s all a matter of practice.
