We all know it, we all do it, but what exactly is flirting? Whether you’re nervously playing with your drink on a first date, exchanging smiles at the bar, or joking around a bit at the office—flirting is often a part of everyday life.
But what does flirting really mean, and why is it so important in dating? This article explains it all.
What does flirting mean?
Flirting is like a little dance in which you playfully signal interest and attraction. It’s a mix of words and gestures that show that you find someone attractive and are very interested in that person.
Flirting can be quite obvious, but sometimes it happens without us even realizing it. It’s a game of tension and excitement that brings us a little closer to the other person.
Flirting doesn’t always have to have a specific intention; some people even flirt for fun even though they’re in a relationship.
Why do we flirt?
There are, of course, certain reasons why we flirt with other people:
1. Show attraction
Flirting is a way to show someone that you feel attraction without saying it directly. It’s also a good way to show interest in a woman/man without seeming needy.
2. Strengthen self-confidence
It feels good when someone responds positively to your flirting attempts. This boosts your  self-confidence .
3. Communication skills
Flirting helps you practice and improve your communication skills.
4. Fun and excitement
Of course, flirting can also just be fun and add a bit of spice to a conversation.
The different types of flirting
Flirting is not all the same. In fact, you can flirt with a woman or a man in three different ways:
1. Verbal flirting
Compliments , teasing , double entendres, and humorous conversations are typical verbal flirting techniques. A casual conversation with charming comments can reveal a lot about your intentions.
2. Body language
Body language is a big part of flirting. A smile, intense eye contact, light touches, and an open posture can send strong signals. A brief, intense glance or a light touch on the arm are also flirting signals.
3. Online
In today’s world, flirting often takes place via text messages, social media, and dating apps. Emojis, GIFs, and cleverly chosen words can create just as much chemistry as a genuine smile or wink.
How do you know if someone is flirting with you?
Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether someone is really flirting with you or just being friendly . According to American surveys, only 36% of men and just 18% of women recognize when someone is flirting with them.
So if you’re having trouble knowing what flirting is and how to recognize it, you’re not alone. Here are some signs to look out for:
1. She/he maintains eye contact
If someone frequently makes eye contact and holds it longer than usual, it could be a sign of flirtatious interest.
2. She/he smiles a lot
A genuine, hearty smile or frequent laughter at your jokes – even if they aren’t particularly funny – is a good sign.
3. She/he seeks your closeness
If someone seeks your proximity, leans towards you or touches you often (discreetly), this indicates flirting.
4. Her/his body is facing you
An open, approachable posture shows that the person is interested and wants to flirt.
5. She/he compliments you
Honest compliments about your looks, your skills, or other things can also be a strong sign of flirting.
6. She/he reflects you
If your counterpart mirrors your behavior or your gestures and facial expressions, he/she wants to create sympathy between you.
Are there differences in the flirting behavior of women and men?
Yes, there definitely are. Women and men flirt differently. These examples show you how women flirt and how men make it spark:
Flirting signals from women
First, here is a list of flirting signals from women.
1. She approaches inconspicuously
Women often flirt more subtly than men. They rely more on subtle hints and less on direct approaches.
2. She smiles a lot
Women smile and laugh more often and use these signals to draw attention to themselves.
3. She maintains long eye contact
Women often maintain eye contact longer and more intensely than men to signal their interest.
4. She touches you gently
Women often touch gently and casually, for example the arm or shoulder, to show affection.
5. She is attracted to you
Women tend to tilt their body or just their head slightly and turn towards the person they are interested in.
6. She plays with her hair
Women often play with their hair or jewelry when they are nervous or feeling attracted .
7. She plays with her lips
Women moisten or lightly bite their lips to draw a man’s attention to that area.
Flirting signals from men
So much for women’s flirting signals. But what about men? Find out here:
1. He approaches directly
Men tend to be more direct in their approach and make their intentions clear. They don’t shy away from physical proximity and touch more often, for example, with a playful arm gesture.
2. He protects you
Men often display protective behavior when flirting. For example, they offer a woman their jacket or stand protectively in front of her in threatening situations.
3. He gives compliments
Men are more likely to give direct compliments about a woman’s appearance or character.
4. He looks at your lips
Men often let their gaze wander to the woman’s lips, which can be an indication of interest in a kiss.
5. He puffs himself up
Men square their shoulders and draw in their stomachs to appear more attractive. They often demonstrate an open and confident posture by standing erect and proudly presenting their chests.
Can you learn to flirt? Tips and tricks
Now that you know exactly what flirting is, it’s time to become a master. Because flirting can be learned , and you can get better at it. On my blog, you’ll find many tips on how to flirt properly .
But here, too, I have collected some tips for you to take your flirting game to the next level:
1. Be confident
Confidence is attractive. Be confident, but not too arrogant. Show interest in the other person, but remain authentic.
2. Listen carefully
Focus on what the other person is saying. Nodding, smiling, and asking questions show that you’re paying attention.
3. Be humorous
Humor is a great tool for flirting. A good joke or humorous remark can break the ice and lighten the mood.
Also, try to tease him/her a little playfully .
4. Pay attention to your body language
An open and friendly, yet relaxed posture can go a long way toward making you appear more likeable and attractive.
5. Maintain eye contact
Maintain eye contact, but don’t stare. An intense gaze followed by a smile can be very effective.
6. Avoid these mistakes
There are also some things you should definitely avoid when flirting. Here are the most common mistakes:
- Stay away from cheap pick-up lines.
- Don’t pressure anyone to flirt with you.
- Don’t pretend, just be yourself.
- Accept if someone doesn’t want to flirt with you and don’t start begging or pushing.
