As a man, you don’t want to show up empty-handed on your date; you want to bring the woman something nice. A small token of appreciation that comes from the heart. So what can you do to make an impression? Of course, you have to give flowers on a first date! That’s the right thing to do. Or is it? Good question!
In grandpa’s day, it was definitely obligatory to sweeten a date with flowers. However, you’re not sure whether a woman these days would appreciate such a romantic gift or whether she’d just throw the bouquet in your face.
And if the fragrant blossoms are a cool gift idea for a get-together: What kind of flower might she like? The classic rose, as a symbol of budding love? Or should it be a more creative plant?
All of these questions are completely legitimate. You don’t want to make any embarrassing mistakes while dating that could ruin the good impression you’ve made so far.
Giving flowers on a first date – yes or no?
The crucial question is: Should you bring the woman a rose, lily, tulip, carnation, gerbera, or a whole bouquet? In fact, you’re completely wrong! Flowers for a first date are about as trendy as mullets or flared trousers on the dance floor. Just forget it! Why?
There are 10 reasons why giving a floral gift when you first meet someone is a bad idea:
- The bouquet looks very old-fashioned and kitschy, as if you had traveled from the 1950s to the present in a time machine.
- It’s an overly romantic gesture that comes across as far too intrusive in this early dating phase. This is especially true for large bouquets and the symbolic red roses that symbolize love.
- By giving flowers on the first date, you present yourself as very submissive – like a typical nice guy who wants to ingratiate himself with the ladies.
- Gifts create a lot of pressure if the woman thinks you’re hoping for her affection in return (in the form of sex or a committed relationship). She certainly doesn’t want to feel like she “owes” you anything.
- It’s pretty impractical to have to carry such a bulky bouquet the entire time on a date or store it on a cafĂ© table. It probably won’t fit in your handbag without getting creased.
- In addition, the elegant floral splendor attracts a lot of attention, especially when it’s a whole bouquet. It could be very embarrassing for the girl to be seen wearing it in a cafĂ© or while out for a walk.
- Some flowers can wilt by the time you meet if you buy them too early or if they’re left without water for too long. And visiting the florist on the day of the date creates additional stress and time pressure (especially since many shops are closed on Sundays ).
- A gift should always be a token of appreciation if you particularly like someone. On the first date, however, you don’t even know if you’ll get along. This is also one reason why some men prefer free date ideas .
- Psychologically speaking, it can seem as if you are trying to convince the woman with a gift because you don’t consider yourself interesting enough with your personality.
- People are different. You don’t know if and which flowers the lady likes—or whether she might even be allergic to certain plants.
No flowers for your first date: What else should you give her?
But what gift can you give the lady instead at your meeting if it is not a rose or another flower?
The simple answer: nothing. Just leave it out!
In another advice article, I’ll explain exactly why it’s generally NOT a good idea to bring gifts on a first date . It’s essentially the same reasons I mentioned above.
Likewise, you should not pay the bill for her at a restaurant , because this is also a type of gift giving that often triggers unpleasant feelings.
My tip: Simply give the woman a wonderful time together and have fun with her! An unforgettable experience that she’ll remember fondly – ​​that’s a “gift” enough. To make that happen, you’ll find my unusual dating ideas here .
Which flowers should you bring on a first date? 3 creative tips
Okay, above I’ve given you the reasons why you, as a man, should NOT give flowers on a first date . If you still don’t want to miss out on the floral magic, I have a few more special ideas for you:
1. Go to a botanical garden together!
Take a walk together in the park, or even better: in a botanical garden!
This way you can admire lots of flowers on your first date without having to play the submissive sycophant who presents a bouquet to his sweetheart.
Not only the colorful sight, but also the scent of the plants creates a real romance as you both stroll through the botanical garden.
Your beloved’s heart will surely melt if she loves flowers!
This spot is a particularly recommended date idea in spring , when everything begins to bloom and nature awakens to new life. But you can also pay a visit to this sensual garden oasis during a summer date .
2. Take a pick-your-own trip!
I’m thinking of a bike ride or hike with a picnic in nature . Find a beautiful spot where you can find plenty of wildflowers along the way. If the chemistry is right between you, you can spontaneously bring up the idea of ​​picking flowers together on your first date and making a bouquet out of them.
Okay, it might not look as gorgeous as a bouquet from a nursery, but hey – it’s homemade with lots of love. The woman can, of course, take this floral gift home and place it in the vase as a keepsake.
However, you have to be careful:
Please comply with all laws and regulations regarding flower picking! Picking plants is strictly prohibited in sensitive areas such as nature reserves, national parks, and public parks.
It is also important to keep your hands off protected and rare species.
It’s best to limit yourself to well-known and common types of flowers for a small bouquet that fits between your thumb and index finger.
3. Throw seed bombs as a guerrilla gardener!
Okay, that sounds a bit wild and crazy – but it’s much more exciting than just bringing some boring flowers on a first date.
And this is how it works: Take a walk through the city together and distribute so-called seed bombs in suitable places with soil where plants will later sprout (for example, on a disused industrial site).
Seed bombs are small balls of soil filled with specific plant seeds. When placed in suitable locations, the seeds begin to germinate after a while—and with a little luck, they’ll eventually grow into a proud plant.
This slightly rebellious activity isn’t just fun on a date. Ideally, it also brightens up the gray concrete jungle in your city and provides food sources for insects.
Later, during the getting-to-know-you phase, you can return to the same locations regularly and check on whether your plants are thriving as well as your love. It’s a joint project – and that will bond you!
Giving flowers on the second or third date?
You’ve now learned why flowers aren’t a particularly smart idea on a first date, and what alternatives are available. But can the man at least come around with a bouquet on the second or third date?
No, at this stage it is also too early for flower gifts – for similar reasons that I mentioned above.
If you present a bouquet of flowers on the second or third date , the woman might interpret this as a very submissive gesture. At the same time, it often seems as if you secretly expect some kind of “return” from her and want to buy her love.
The floral scent is, so to speak, overlaid by the smell of despair…
Red roses are especially dangerous in this regard: They represent pure romance and express a clear declaration of love that could take the other person by surprise.
Flowers can therefore give the impression that you’re trying to push your partner into a committed relationship early on. This naturally takes the edge off your meeting and creates a lot of pressure, so many women will then cautiously keep their distance.
When should you give flowers? Do it while you’re getting to know each other!
Okay, we’ve harped on about flowers on a first date (and beyond) long enough. But there’s also a time when getting to know someone when plant gifts are definitely appropriate:
- if things have already become a bit serious between you and the dating is supposed to lead to a steady relationship
- if you see each other more often, so that the dates are no longer countable
- if you are not in her friend zone and you are already very intimate with each other, including sex
In this situation during your getting-to-know-you phase, a single flower or a whole bouquet can be a nice gesture upon meeting. This signals to the woman that you’re thinking of her and that you value her.
But here too the rule applies to men:
Less is often more, and creative gift ideas are more popular. If you want to give the señorita flowers, please don’t buy the standard bouquet of roses from the supermarket! That’s boring and impersonal. Show her you’ve put some thought into it and surprise her with something special!
10 tips and ideas for flowers in the getting-to-know-you phase
Here are a few ideas for original plants and flowers for a date at home that are guaranteed to bring more joy than the usual run-of-the-mill floral arrangements. Including a loving greeting card for your partner will make your gift even more personal.
1. Discreetly ask her about her taste!
Of course, everyone has their own preferences when it comes to the type, appearance, color, scent, and care requirements of their flowers. Discreetly ask the woman during your next WhatsApp conversation or date which flower she likes, for example, by saying:
“My mother recently received an orchid for her birthday. What do you think of it?” (The best way to answer this question is to show her a photo on your phone.)
If you’re having trouble determining her taste, simply get her a colorful bouquet with many different types of flowers. Or try to gauge what she might like based on her personality.
By the way, some women prefer houseplants – they tend to last longer if they are well cared for.
2. Get advice from a florist!
Are you having trouble choosing the right flower because you’re a complete novice? Lilies, gerberas, carnations, and the like are almost foreign words to you?
Then look around a flower shop or garden center for creative gift ideas and let the knowledgeable sales staff advise you on questions such as (seasonal) trends, varieties, and colors!
The experienced staff can show you exciting flowers and plants for your date that you hadn’t even considered before. They also know which floral gifts are suitable for your specific occasion and which ones you’d better avoid.
Especially for us men, who don’t normally concern ourselves with this topic, outside help is useful and saves time in the selection process.
3. Learn about flower symbolism!
Almost every flower or plant has a specific symbolic meaning, also depending on the color of the blossom. This is why some flowers are only appropriate for certain occasions and are rather inappropriate in others.
Learn about the language of flowers through a Google search or ChatGPT request so you don’t put your foot in it when meeting the lady!
Did you know, for example, that yellow roses can symbolize jealousy, infidelity, and friendship (a signal for the friend zone )? Or that white lilies are traditionally used in funeral flowers?
Bringing such flowers on a date would be a real mistake… not a good choice!
Less critical for romantic occasions, however, are red and pink roses, tulips, orchids, red carnations, gerberas and sunflowers.
4. Consider a houseplant as a gift!
Cut flowers wilt after a few days—not a great symbol of your love, either, is it? Therefore, it might be a better idea to give a long-lasting houseplant that, with proper care, will grow and thrive for years, just like (hopefully) your relationship.
Such plant decoration for the home appears more creative simply because it deviates from the usual cliché of “a man giving a woman flowers on the first date.”
The selection is vast. Consider which potted plant suits your partner’s taste and whose symbolism fits her personality. The money tree, for example, as its name suggests, is an expression of prosperity and success. The lucky bamboo represents good luck.
Extra tip: Write her a personal greeting card explaining the meaning of the plant as well as your wishes for her and your relationship!
If the person you’re giving the gift to is rather chaotic and doesn’t have a green thumb, we recommend purchasing an easy-care plant like a snake plant or yucca palm.
5. For crafters: Fold an origami rose!
Why does it always have to be a real flower for a date? If you’re a passionate crafter and DIY fan, you can also fold a rose for your crush out of colored origami paper. A quick search on YouTube will find step-by-step instructions.
The advantage: A paper rose is an original gift that won’t wilt. It’s a lasting room decoration and thus a lasting reminder of your love.
Plus, the woman will see that you’re a skilled craftsman and that you’re putting in the effort for her. After all, folding an origami rose is much more difficult and time-consuming than just running to the nearest flower shop, right? There you go!
By the way: If the paper flower is too artificial and lifeless for you, then a so-called “eternal rose” might be a better choice. These are real roses in a glass jar, preserved using a special process. This way, they retain their natural, fresh appearance for years.
6. Be a little cheeky and give her a cactus!
A rather unusual idea is to bring a cactus instead of flowers on a date. This gesture isn’t romantic, but rather teasing and humorous. When handing it over, you can grin and say a fitting saying:
“Because you’re a little prickly sometimes…”
One advantage of cacti is that they are very easy to care for and require little water.
But be careful: You should only give cacti as a gift if the person you’re giving them to likes them and understands (or shares) your cheeky sense of humor. Otherwise, the prickly gift could be perceived as an insult at your meeting.
7. Surprise her with something culinary!
No, I don’t mean you should whip up a three-star meal for your chosen one. But instead of the usual flowers and houseplants, giving her a set of various kitchen herbs (in pots) can be a great date idea.
This gift is especially popular if she enjoys cooking. Fresh herbs often taste much better than the dried stuff from the supermarket.
And by the way, the green plants also look great on the windowsill.
Or is she a passionate gardener with a green thumb? Then she might enjoy a vegetable seed kit with various vegetables that she can grow with you on the balcony or in the garden.
8. Give red roses when things get serious!
What’s the first idea that most men spontaneously come up with when they want to bring flowers on a first date? That’s right: red roses, the classic. It’s the ultimate love clichĂ©, and Hollywood movies aren’t entirely innocent of this either.
But as we’ve already discussed, it’s still far too early for gifts at this point, especially when such a romantic gesture is involved.
However, the situation is completely different if you’re meeting regularly, are at the end of your getting-to-know-you phase, and are moving toward a committed relationship. In that case, you can give your almost-partner pink or red roses as a token of your love to usher in a committed relationship.
You should also inform yourself about the symbolism of the number of roses and consider how many you give to your sweetheart. For example, six roses say, “I want to be yours!” while two roses symbolize mutual affection.
Very lavish bouquets of roses may be more suitable for larger occasions in long-term relationships and can take the edge off your young relationship.
9. Buy a potted rose as a long-lasting alternative!
Cut roses may be incredibly romantic, but they wilt after about a week. Potted roses might be a better choice for your date flowers: They look just as beautiful but last significantly longer if they’re of good quality and properly cared for.
Ideally, the potted rose is kept on the balcony or terrace, as the conditions outdoors are better than indoors.
In a pinch, potted roses can also be placed indoors on a windowsill if a south-facing window with plenty of light and sun is available. However, caring for them indoors is considerably more time-consuming and complicated than caring for them outdoors.
If you want to give a woman a potted rose, she should be a true flower lover who enjoys taking care of the plant and enjoys intensive care.
10. For big occasions: Plant your “love tree”!
Finally, things get even bigger (in the truest sense of the word): You’ve been together as a couple for a while and want to build a future together? Have you long since given up on the idea of ​​”flowers on a date”?
Then it is a particularly symbolic gesture for your love to plant a tree together in the garden and care for it as a team!
Go to a garden center, hardware store, or tree nursery together and pick out a suitable tree for your garden. How about a fruit tree, for example? Then, hold a small ritual where you plant it together.
The whole action symbolizes a lot: putting down roots together, steady growth, longevity and strength of your relationship, and the hope for a prosperous future.
For this to work well, you will of course have to care for the tree regularly, just like your relationship.
Don’t have a garden? That doesn’t have to mean a relationship meltdown! Alternatively, you can set up a houseplant in your apartment and take care of it together. Suitable plants include olive trees, weeping figs, or money trees.
Conclusion: Flowers on the first date? No! Later, yes…
Now you’re perfectly prepared for the topic. May the flower power be with you!
Just remember: On the first, second, and third date – stay away from flowers as a gift! This comes across as old-fashioned, pushy, submissive, and can be completely misinterpreted. You don’t want it to come across as if you’re trying to “buy” her love, do you?
Plus, a single flower or a whole bouquet is really cumbersome when you’re out and about at a meeting. No girl wants to lug that around!
To start with, opt for “flowery” dating activities for two, such as a walk in the botanical garden, picking wildflowers yourself, or the seed bomb mission (see above)!
Such ideas are much more original, casual and suitable for first dates.
And if things get more serious between you later on, you can always give the woman flowers. But if so, please give her something unique, stylish, and creative!
Surprise your beloved! Show her you’ve put some thought into it and bring her a special plant that suits her and your relationship.
