Learning how to flirt properly. Many singles dream of it. A funny remark, a little wink, or a friendly smile. It sounds so simple, yet is often so difficult. We have good news for all those who are flirting dyslexics: Good flirting has nothing to do with talent. Here, too, practice makes perfect. We’ll show you how to learn how to flirt in just a few steps, where it works best, and what everyone who flirts should definitely keep in mind.
Flirting on a first date – 10 tips
1. Eye contact
A look says more than a thousand words. This also applies to flirting. If you don’t know the person you’re talking to yet, even brief, intense eye contact can actually create a feeling of affection and sympathy.
2. Less is more when flirting
Feel free to show that you’re interested, but don’t reveal everything right away. Instead, ask a little more about yourself when he tells you something about himself. This way, you’ll remain mysterious and interesting.
3. Facing posture
Body language is also crucial when flirting. By moving your body toward someone and maintaining an open posture, you signal interest to your partner.
4. Show closeness – not just physically
Share something personal about yourself. This will build rapport and create a familiar atmosphere.
5. Those who tease each other love each other
Affectionate teasing and a little teasing can be a very refreshing ingredient in a flirtation. Men are best won over with a cheeky and daring barb. Women prefer something more subtle. A little teasing or a friendly joke is more appropriate than a direct line.
6. Light touches as a flirting signal
Nothing is more effective when flirting than physical contact. Let your date know you find them attractive by lightly touching their arm, back, or hand. But be careful! Don’t overdo it! Otherwise, your date might feel pressured by you.
7. Compliments – but discreetly
Who doesn’t like to hear something nice about themselves? Tell the person you’re talking to what you like about them. But don’t exaggerate, or you’ll quickly come across as untrustworthy.
8. Positive attitude
This might not sound like a real flirting tip at first, but it’s still incredibly important. Be optimistic and mentally prepare yourself for a great date. Why do you think the other person wants to meet you? Can’t immediately think of at least three reasons that make you a likable person? Then you have some catching up to do in terms of maintaining a positive attitude before the date. Grab a pen and paper and do some brainstorming.
9. Learn to flirt – practice makes perfect
If you know you’re rather shy and often don’t know what to say or how to behave on dates, then simply practice the situation at home in front of the mirror beforehand. With the right preparation, you’re sure to succeed.
10. Naturalness wins
The most important thing, of course, is to be yourself. Everyone is nervous on a first date; that’s completely normal. Anyone who covers up their nervousness with excessive self-confidence can quickly come across as arrogant or dismissive.
Flirting properly – what to consider when choosing a location
Flirting is a very situational thing. A flirting attempt that works well in one situation may be completely inappropriate in another. Depending on where you’re going on your first date, there are certain things you should keep in mind:
1. In the restaurant
Going out to dinner on a first date – this is a classic choice most lovebirds choose. And for good reason! A romantic dinner for two is a particularly good time to flirt. You’re alone and have plenty of time for a long conversation . You can win her over with little teasing or jokes, as well as deep glances.
2. Flirting properly in a bar
After a nice dinner, you’re both not ready to go home, so you decide to go to a bar. With dim lighting, good music, and maybe a little alcohol, we all like to flirt. However, a bar isn’t the right place for a long conversation. So, focus on nonverbal flirting tactics like:
- Intense eye contact
- A quick wink
- Open posture
- Hearty laughter
3. Walk or picnic in the park
A romantic stroll or a lovely picnic in the park? It almost feels like a vacation. And everyone knows: flirting is especially good on vacation . These locations offer a great opportunity for a casual conversation – even some tentative physical contact.
4. Visit a museum or gallery
This is especially suitable for the more shy and reserved singles among you. Even if you don’t talk the whole time, there won’t be any awkward silences. A quick smile or a little chat about the exhibit will quickly break the ice. A particularly good opportunity for casual flirting is offered by interactive museums, such as a chocolate museum . Here, you can both make your own chocolate. This way, you’ll also have a sweet souvenir of your first date.
5. Billiards, bowling, darts, etc.
These popular pub sports also offer great opportunities for playful flirting. The atmosphere is relaxed and usually fun, with plenty of opportunities for harmless physical contact. Another advantage: the focus is on the game! So you can chat, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be the whole time.
6. Unusual locations for flirting
Generally speaking, unusual ideas for a first date create the perfect foundation for a successful flirtation. How about geocaching, karaoke , or blacklight mini golf ? These things sound really interesting in themselves, so the flirting will surely flow naturally.
8 red flags when flirting
1. Dishonesty
On a first date, people often lie a little to impress their dream partner with spectacular stories about themselves. The goal should be to find someone who likes them just the way they are. Dishonesty when flirting is an absolute no-go.
2. Red Flag: Self-indulgence when flirting
Many women like confident men. However, if that confidence turns into self-absorption and boasting, it’s a real flirt killer. Who wants to listen to long monologues about how great their partner is? Let the other person figure out what’s special about you for themselves! This makes flirting all the more exciting and interesting.
3. Keep your hands off your cell phone
Another important flirting rule is: When dating, keep your phone off and in your pocket. Talking on the phone or constantly checking your messages during the date is simply rude. This gives your partner the impression that the date isn’t important to you at all. The only exception: pulling out your phone to take a selfie of the two of you. Self-made photos offer a great opportunity to get a little closer.
4. Cover up unpleasant silence
For many, the infamous awkward silence is a nightmare on a first date. But when we try to fill that silence, we quickly start babbling nonsense. A few quiet moments during a date are actually a good thing. Take this opportunity to look deep into his eyes. Or give him a small smile. Always remember: Kissing only works if both parties aren’t talking.
5. Chewing gum while flirting
You had garlic rolls with aioli for lunch, and you have a spontaneous date tonight? Then it’s better to quickly chew a piece of gum. You don’t want to scare off your date with your bad breath when you first say hello. Great, but definitely get it out before the date. Many people find chewing gum in their presence unpleasant and rude. It also interferes with conversation and kissing. Chewing gum is therefore also a red flag.
6. bad pick-up lines
“I lost my number, can I have yours?” “Hey, babes, already booked?” Sayings like that will scare almost any woman away. No woman wants to hear memorized lines that countless others have heard before. An absolute no-go.
7. Red Flag: Too much alcohol
Sure, a little alcohol can lighten the mood, especially if both of you are feeling nervous. But if it gets too much, it can quickly backfire. Especially if only one of you is a little tipsy, it can be awkward. Therefore, it can be helpful to coordinate your drink choice with your date. If both of you order something alcoholic, there’s nothing wrong with one or two. If your partner sticks to water or cola, you should also hold back.
Drinking to build up your courage before the meeting is also highly discouraged. If you smell of alcohol right from the first greeting, it can quickly give the wrong impression.
8. Bring someone else
Bringing your best friend or boyfriend on a first date is a definite no-go, even if you’re nervous or unsure. This also applies if they just drop you off and then leave! Showing up with someone else will make your date feel like you don’t trust them.
Flirting properly with friends and colleagues
You were always just acquaintances or colleagues, but now the spark has suddenly ignited, and the first date is about to begin. If you’ve known each other on a friendly basis for a while, you’ll need a few different flirting tactics. An intense gaze or a shy smile isn’t enough. More obvious flirting signals are needed. Verbal messages are particularly effective for this. Give compliments and tell the other person how much you’re enjoying the meeting.
In summary: The do’s and don’ts of flirting
| DOS | Don’ts |
| Intense look | White lies |
| Open body language | Macho behavior |
| Light touches | Answer the phone |
| Sincere compliments | chewing gum |
| Little teasing | Flat pick-up lines |
| Restraint | Bring someone with you |
| Lots of practice | Too much alcohol |
